Ugggghhhh!

Why do we neglect ourselves for everyone else around us? Why do we have this deep-seeded guilt that we MUST care for everyone else to the point where we forget to take care of the person standing in the mirror? Now, I am talking about taking care of someone in all aspects – not just the physical – we are talking about caring for other’s emotional well-being, physical well-being, everything well-being. Surely, I am not the only one who does this…neglecting the self, that is. And when we DO take an extra moment to care for our own needs – how guilty do YOU feel? WHY do we feel guilty when we raise our hand and say “hey! what about me? Don’t I matter?”

And in no way, shape, or form do I want to be sexist here and say that men don’t do the same thing….neglect themselves. I’m sure there are many men in this world who put the needs of their families first and forget they, too, need to be cared for. My hat is off to you, to EVERYONE, who attempts to juggle all things in life – especially during this COVID crap. Yes, I said crap….COVID crap…..but we aren’t here to talk about COVID. We are talking about the importance of self-care, self-acknowledgement, self-belief, and self-love. And the kryptonite to all that hard work we put into our emotional well-being – G U I L T….GUILT.

How much time do we waste on feeling guilty for taking 5 minutes out of our day for just ourselves? For every 5 minutes of pleasure, most of us spend about 15+ hours out of the day trying to make it up to those around us because we feel guilty about putting our needs first for just a brief moment. Okay, maybe you don’t….I do. I have moments when I am so overwhelmed with life that I just want to scream into a black hole! Wonder if that’s what the ostrich does when they stick their head in the ground….hmmm…curious minds want to know.

I have neglected myself by not writing in this blog like I promised myself I would. I have neglected myself for quite a few months. I am here to say it is time to stop neglecting yourself! It is OK to say “yeah, I’ve had enough!” I am a perfectly, imperfect human being, after all. I do not need to be perfect. I do not need to be the perfect mom, the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, or the perfect friend…I just need to be ME. Me, the person who is ever evolving, who is tired, who is alive, who feels…ME who needs to stand up and say “nope, you don’t get to treat me that way” – I am finding ME.

Why do we focus always on the negative of life? Ever notice that, friends? We are quick to focus on the negative things in our lives and we neglect all things positive…..why? GUILT….guilt because we are not supposed to be strong, not supposed to flaunt our joy in the face of others, not supposed to be happy. Guess what, friends, I am calling BULLSHIT on the whole guilt thing!! Go ahead and be happy! Be kind to yourself…don’t be afraid to stand up and say “I MATTER” – because you DO matter!!

Stop feeling guilty for caring about yourself….take that few minutes and go do something for YOU….even if it is just shutting the bathroom door and LOCKING it so you can have a few minutes of peace….most importantly, friends, stop feeling guilty for standing up for yourself, even if it means someone’s feelings get hurt because you’ve said “enough!” – Remember, YOU are NOT responsible for someone else’s feelings – YOU are responsible for YOU and YOU ALONE! They say be kind to others – yes, be kind to others but be kind to yourself.