What’s Your Worth?

Happy Sunday, friends. I’ve been having some serious thoughts roaming around in my head centering on self-worth…so, naturally, I have come to sit in front of the keyboard. At first, I sat down with the intent to write this post to all of my lady friends/readers…but then I thought surely my male friends might struggle with self-worth. So, here it is, ladies and gentlemen, let’s chat about self-worth.

What is self-worth? Some might say it is some kind of psychobabble crap that some therapist coined. Well, according to University of North Carolina Wilmington “Self-worth is the internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others. Self-worth is often confused with self-esteem, which relies on external factors such as successes and achievements to define worth and can often be inconsistent leading to someone struggling with feeling worthy.” So, there is just one of many official definitions of self-worth. Don’t confuse self-esteem and self-worth – okay? Let’s move on….

I am lucky enough to have good friends who remind me of my self-worth when they see me backtracking down a path I strolled down already and for them I will always be grateful. You see, sometimes I get caught up in all the feels that I will overlook any negativity someone is spewing – thus, affecting my own sense of self-worth. I have vowed never to travel that road again….but old habits die hard….man, I hate that saying!!

So, what is my self-worth? As I write this, I am really just reminding myself that I am worthy of being treated with respect, love, kindness, and acceptance. I am not perfect….no far from it….I am simply an perfectly imperfect and that’s okay…..it’s OKAY to be ME. I can sometimes be neglectful of myself and a significant (or not so significant) other BUT, I assure you, it is never intentional (that’s where the imperfect part comes in). I, admittedly, love the idea of being in love, of being in a long-lasting relationship, of being a “they” instead a “party of one” – so, guess what happens….I make bad choices in an effort to get to the “they”. We ALL make bad choices at some point in our lives – perfectly imperfect humans.

The point here is this – and remember this goes for men and women. Look at yourself in the mirror and have a paper and pen with you. Draw a line down the middle of said paper and make a list of all the great things about yourself and on the other side write down those things about you that are not so great. You will see, my friends, that the not-so-great list is likely to be much longer. Why? Because we are all our own worse Judgy McJudgerson! And this is where self-worth comes in – we see the negative and we forget about the positives about ourselves! When we do that, our sense of self-worth suffers and we make choices that are to our detriment! Men choose women (or men) who are more likely to put them through the wringer and women choose men (or women) who never see the good things, either…..oh but they are real quick to point out all the negative! Don’t be that person….if you keep making the same mistakes, have a look at your self-worth….it’s begging to be nurtured.

It doesn’t matter how old or young you are, YOU have a responsibility to yourself – be kind to yourself. I am, oh so guilty, of not being kind to myself and I am learning (slowly but surely) that I am worthy of being treated with love, respect, and kindness. Sure, I have slipped and gone backwards on occasion (even just recently) but, again, that’s where that whole perfectly imperfect thing comes into play and surrounding yourself with friends who aren’t afraid to say “knock that shit off!” – you know who you are, my friend.

What am I worth? Here’s what I think I am worth – when I give my heart, I give it ALL – I am worth getting the same back. When I give of myself, it takes me awhile to give you my all, but I do, eventually….once I think someone can be trusted with my “me” – I am worth the same. I am worth spending time with – even if it’s just going for a walk or quietly reading a book…or not even doing anything, for that matter – I am worth your time, so let me have it. I am worth seeing the good, acknowledging the bad – but also worthy of being reminded of the good things…..not just the bad. I am worth someone bending over backwards to make me happy – because that is what I do for someone I care about. I am worth being held tightly when I am sad, I am worth laughing with when I am happy, I am worth being heard when I am angry, I am worth being accepted when I annoying, and I am worthy of being loved as a perfectly, imperfect human. I MATTER AND YOU MATTER!

So, dear readers, there is your homework assignment – ask yourself the question “how much am I worth?”