From the time that we are little, society in one way or another influences our idea of what it is we are supposed to do in life. You know what I am talking about, don’t you? Be a good child for your parent(s), go to school, do all the activities, go to college, and finally get married (gasp!) and start the whole process over again with your own little family unit. My question today is WHY? Why does society dictate to us that we should be married or have a partner? Why is this a thing? To procreate? Why? Fight loneliness? Why?
I’ve been married, been divorced, had a kid, and now I am single and in my 50’s! I never thought I would be single at this age – of course not, why would I? Society told me I needed to be married, needed to stay married, and grow old together…why? Why can’t I just BE? When I was younger, I never really wanted to get married – I wanted to be a mother, though. It was really the only thing I wanted in life – to be a mom. I’ve done it and will always be a mom. It’s the one thing in my life that is an incredible achievement and something I am still in awe as I watch her find her own way. She is strong, determined, loving, and she has a confidence in herself that I never had at her age. I look at her and I think – yep, I did that. I am proud of myself for raising her to be the person she is. She is one of those young women who will never tear another woman down for simply being who she is – she knows what it is to just BE.
It has been a few weeks since the baby bird flew the nest and we have both been figuring our ways in our new worlds – she through self-discovery as a college student and me through self-discovery as a single woman with a whole new world in front of me. For 18 years (almost 19) I put her needs, wants, everything before my own…I made choices always with her foremost in my thoughts. And now, I am figuring my own choices! It is both daunting and exhilarating as I learn to just BE!
As I engage in this whole self-discovery (maybe I should say rediscovery) thing, I wonder am I doing something wrong in my quest to just BE. When was the last time you allowed yourself to just BE?
What is it to be ME? To be YOU? To be HUMAN? 
You will figure it out! You always do! I’m so proud of you and all of your accomplishments.
I never wanted to be a mother. I didn’t think I could be a good mom because I never knew what a good mother was. I may not be a world traveler or have the most amazing job, or a college degree, but I will say my biggest accomplishment is motherhood!
I may not have been the greatest the first time around, but I learned hard lessons and grew up! I have 4 of the most amazing adult kids and they found their way in this crappy world. They are all thriving! I have 3 incredible grandkids. I struggled as a single parent. Sacrificed so much for them so they could have a better life. Always putting them first. A lot of tough times, but also some pretty incredible times too! I have no regrets. I would do it all over again!
Just BE, my friend. You deserve it!
Love you Muffin
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I am proud of YOU!!! I love you!!
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