Life is What Happens After You Make Plans

Isn’t it crazy how life runs away and you forget about things? Or is that old age? Combo of both, I think. So, it has REALLY been a long time since I have written because, well, you know, LIFE happened. Just to get you all updated….here’s what has been happening.

Adjusting to be an empty-nester has been a journey, for sure! Especially when you only have that one beautiful blessing. The journey of rediscovering yourself is not for the faint of heart, I can tell you this much. I have gone into her room so many times and just sat on her bed looking at her posters on the wall, saying hello to Spider-Man as he hangs from her ceiling, gotten annoyed at all of her crap still in her messy closet – but, hey, her bed is made (yeah, thanks to her!)….what I wouldn’t give to be annoyed by her clothes all over the floor again! But that wouldn’t be fair to her, would it? She’s off living her life, cruising through her own self-discovery, figuring her things out. Every now and then she sends me a text to complain about having to do some sort of adult thing….”welcome to adulting, kid” is my usual response. And this is usually met with “yeah, I’m done….ready to be a kid again!” – if only we could all be kids again! My point of this is – your child is always going to be your “baby” no matter how old they are! As annoying as it is when my mom says “mama’s baby” at my age, I can honestly say I totally get it now. But shhhhhhh, don’t tell her that!

The natural instinct as a mom (for me) is to jump on a plane and bring her home – if only! So, catching everyone up…..I am going through life, all the ups and downs, and I have discovered a few things. There is nothing more terrifying than being so far from your child (remember that part where I said always going to be your “baby”) and you get the call that she has to have an impromptu surgery to have her appendix removed! Yes, friends, this happened! I know this is a simple procedure nowadays…..but remember that’s my “baby”! I was ready to pay over $6,000 to get on a plane that very night! True to form, she talked me off the ledge. And let me tell you, her friends, her O’hana, sorority sisters, are truly my other daughters because they took great care of her and kept me informed…..I could go ahead and breathe because she was safe and in minimal pain. Yep, nothing like that kind of fear experienced so far in this parenting journey and they sure as heck don’t put it in the parenting handbook! And now she is totally fine….whew!

She is learning to drive! Living in Germany during her teens she didn’t need to drive because we have great public transportation! So watch out world, the kid has her first car and she’s going places. She’s got a part-time job, too, working with middle-school vermin!! Goodness bless her soul….they definitely try her patience!

I have come to realize something really important. My job as a parent of a child is complete – now I get to be the parent of a young adult. Adjustment in parenting highly encouraged….but loving never changes because she is always my “baby”. Now I watch her go through her life journey and I am in awe of this human. She is filled with such light, love, strength, and determination – job well done!

As for me – well, I almost retired! She’s too young – you might be saying – at least I hope so! But the universe had other things in store for me and wanted me to stay a little longer in Germany. So, here I am…..and now the fun part! I have found ME….I have found more personal strength, more commitment to myself, less tolerance for putting up with bullshit, and a deeper clarity of what I want in a relationship with myself and with a man! Woohooo – go ME!!! I have learned to enjoy my own company and realized that I am my very own best friend! Job well done!

And just when I least expected it, I met someone who actually respects and LIKES all those things about me! He accepts me just as I am and never seeks to change me into what he thinks I should be – can you imagine such complete acceptance?!!? Yeah, I couldn’t either at first…blissfully weird but that’s the way it’s supposed to be, right? Stay tuned for what the next chapter brings…..might involve moving.

Now I am going to end this post with some sage words about life – LIVE it, be IN it ENJOY it! It is YOUR life – be who you want to be, be afraid but grab onto that fear and give it a great big ‘ol hug! Always be kind to yourself and others will follow and be kind to one another. After all, we all have something in common……WE ARE LIVING LIFE!